The night he asked me to be his wife; I was floating. For the weeks and even months that followed; I was still floating. I soaked up everything imaginable. Bridal magazines; hours scouring Pinterest; bridal shows – you name it; I did it.
I was so excited.
But things didn’t go as I had dreamed they would. The image I had in my mind – reality was nothing like it. As with so many things in life, it got messy. My mother failed to be happy about my engagement, as did other members of my family. Not because of how my fiance treated me or anything other than their own selfish reasons. Such is life. But as much as I didn’t let it deter me, it hurt. Supporting a family my entire life who in turn couldn’t put their own opinions aside to allow me to enjoy something I had been looking forward to for years – hurt like hell. But the day I ordered my wedding dress, I made a vow to myself that I would never let another tear fall for my family. For me, family are the people who love you and support you unconditionally. The ones who actively want to be a part of the things that excite you and will share in your happiness.
So I decided to focus on that instead. I would no longer worry about offending anyone or considering their opinions. After all, this was our wedding. A celebration of our love and life together.
And when I took a step back and let that sink in, well it all began to fall into place.
Gone was the added stress. Replaced instead with a new excitement of beginning a new chapter as the wife of my best friend. For those first few days with this new perspective, I didn’t care how we got married, I just wanted to be his wife.
You see, I grew up in a large family, many of which didn’t really believe in marriage, what it signified, what it meant etc. Me, I knew from a young age I wanted to be married. I knew what marriage meant to me and I wanted that. Children, well that was to be determined later.
So I sat down with Vic and we figured out the things we knew we didn’t want before narrowing down the things we did want.
Vic and I have been together for almost 12 years and engaged for the last 2 1/2. And given the fact I’ve been daydreaming of my wedding since I was a teenager – let’s say I knew what I wanted 😉
I knew I didn’t want:
- a traditional church wedding
- a traditional church hall reception
- a traditional sit down dinner
- a big Cinderella day
I’m in no way saying there is anything wrong with these things, I’ve actually attended several weddings like this that were tons of fun and absolutely beautiful. It’s just not what I wanted.
Things I knew I did want:
- a small intimate wedding
- unique venue
- fun and tasty food
- a photographer and videographer I was in love with
- simple, modern, and beautiful decor
It wasn’t until I took those steps back, that I realized wedding planning didn’t have to be overwhelming. It was actually quite simple. Our guest list shrunk considerably, our costs were more reasonable and most importantly, I was happy and excited with my choices.
So if you’re a fellow bride-to-be who is feeling the enormous amount of stress from your wedding plans – take a deep breath love, you’re in great company. Remember the most important thing is that this is a day to celebrate becoming your fiance’s spouse. It is a celebration of a brand new chapter in your life. So if you’re feeling restricted by obligation and tradition, don’t be afraid to break free. There is no golden rule which states that there is only one style of wedding. So take a break, love. Take a few steps back and refocus on what you both want – no one else – just you two. Ensure you’re planning a day that you will get to enjoy without regrets.
Much love you guys xox