I didn’t need you to be my everything.
When I met you, I had no expectations. Your quiet demeanor, and carefree personality were contagious. You made me laugh and feel weightless. There was no need to pretend to be something I wasn’t. No pressure to get my shit together at the young age of 20.
You allowed me to be young and carefree; supporting and loving me along the way.
I wasn’t looking for a man to rescue me, save me, or change my life in every single way imaginable. I wasn’t looking for a man to bend over backwards to make me happy. I wasn’t looking for a life partner.
I wasn’t looking for anything.
What I got . . .
What I got was so much more. I had found a man that is the answer to every single prayer I have ever offered. A man who makes me laugh every single day; shares snacks through movie nights; and always ensures I have caffeine – maybe more for your safety than my happiness.
You are a man I can count on, no matter what happens. You have been my safety net, more times than I can count and continue to wipe away the tears when I can’t bear to be strong any longer.
You are a man who respects me. Who treats me as an equal; a partner who walks with me – making this journey a whole lot more bearable. You are a man who teases me endlessly, drives me crazy on a daily basis, but one I know will have my back always.
So on those days when I may not seem happy, please don’t think it’s because of you – in any way. Because you’re the man who stole my heart.
Don’t worry that your beard and hair is a little long, or that you hate everything academia, though you let me ramble endlessly. I don’t want you to be anything other than what you are. The man who still makes my heart race. The man who continues to sit in on every doctors appointment and chases away the demons that settle in when the doctors deliver their not-so-great reports.
So on the days when you see me down and are feeling helpless, not sure how to chase the shadows away – just continue being you.
Because I didn’t need you to be my everything.
But you are, my everything.