Where to begin.
At this point, I would normally be doing up a post on all of the things I’ve accomplished; goals I’ve conquered; a year in review. This year, I’m going to do it a little differently. Gone are the illusions to a picture perfect year.
Let’s get real for a minute.
Life is one hot, sticky mess. We make plans; they fall through. We set goals; we fall a little short. We do everything according to the imaginary guidelines of responsibility; we stumble like a newborn lamb.
It happens in a messy, unexpected, curve-ball-in-the-dark sort of way.
And as much as we may think, “We’ve got this!”, we totally aren’t ready. I wasn’t prepared at all for anything that happened in 2016. I wasn’t ready for the financial nightmare that would stem from our car accident; the anemic diagnosis; the depression; the ways in which it all would forever alter my life.
It’s okay to stumble and fall. As a true, to-the-core Type A personality, I am a perfectionist and I struggle when things don’t go as planned. This year was no exception. Over the last few days I’ve struggled with writing this post. It’s common for us to sugar coat the things we put out there on social media. Always creating an illusion of success and happiness. I felt like a fraud every time I sat to write this. It’s not to say that there hasn’t been successes this year, or that it’s false to share the happiness and growth you’ve experienced – share the hell out of those gold moments!
For me it was more about trying to create an honest look back on this year.
I’m a goal-digger by nature; this year they didn’t go quite according to plan.
Let’s take a look at what I didn’t do this year:
- I didn’t create my 100 Days of the Holidays (I made it through 9)
- I didn’t redesign my blog
- I didn’t complete my #project365
- I didn’t write near as much as I would’ve liked
- I didn’t return to my part time job
- I didn’t reach my goal weight (actually gained 40lbs; half of which is almost gone again YaY!)
- I didn’t get married
As much as I struggled with the massive wave of failure, I’ve finally reached a place of acceptance. I can now look back on the year that was 2016 as a path of redirection. Instead of going in the direction I had planned on an entire year ago, I believe I’m finally heading in the direction I’m meant to go in. A second chance if you will.
After the health hurdle 3 years ago, I dove head first into life. It wasn’t graceful and my form was sloppy – I’m a born swimmer so roll with the analogy – which resulted in a nasty ol’ belly flop. My decisions afterward stemmed from fear and some were mind blogging and completely illogical. I was drowning in consequences and I prayed for a chance to fix things. And true to my childhood learning’s, my prayers were answered – just not in the way I had envisioned.
So as i sit and plan for 2017, I take the redirection for what it is – an opportunity to live the dreams I had in my heart before the bottom fell out of my world.
As it’s always been, a large portion of that centers around my photography. A dream I couldn’t possibly live without the incredible individuals I have been ever so fortunate to work with this past year.
I need to thank you. For allowing me into your homes and lives – many of you, multiple times. You have allowed me creative freedom to capture your loved ones just as they are. Proving if only for a second, that all was right with the world.
You’ll be seeing a lot more of me and my incredibly wonderful clients, both new and old, through 2017 as I’ve been filling the calendar with sessions for the last several months, as far as next Christmas! I’m picking the ball back up and running with it.
Remember guys, failure is only failure, if you fail to try again. Here’s to making 2017 even better than the the plans that were in place for 2016. Let’s put on our big girl panties (or boy!) and dream again. Let’s show ourselves that our dreams matter and they deserve a place in our reality.
Okay, NOW let’s see a few (and it’s just a few!) of my favourite moments in 2016 . . .