From the time I entered school, at the age of 5, I was entranced in everything. School was by far my favourite place to be – no, I’m serious! I dearly loved my teachers, ate up the work and thrived. Twice, my teachers approached my mom about pushing me ahead a grade – twice she turned them down. In her mind, she would rather I have a normal school experience with my friends and do well, instead of possibly feeling out of place with older children and struggle. They didn’t agree and then approached her regarding enrichment programs and work. In their opinion, I was bored and I wasn’t being challenged nearly enough. For me, I just loved school. Everything about it. I know, I’m in the minority. But there was no surprise, looking back over things from my grade school years, and seeing how many times I had dreams of becoming a teacher, “when I grow up”.
So when I got the opportunity to return to post secondary in the summer of 2013, there was no wonder at what I was going to do. I received my acceptance into “Pre-Education” starting January 2014. Through all of the things that unfolded over the months leading up to the fall of this year, I lost my way. I let fear lead me away from education and back into business. Granted, I finished my first business program 6 years ago with a 90 average (or 4.0 GPA), but my heart was never in it this time around. I hated every second and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t see the positive in an MBA. I wasn’t about to work in an office a gazillion hours a week; caught up in the rat race.
So over the last 8 weeks or so, I have spent countless hours pouring over course catalogs, meeting with a half dozen academic reps and applying for jobs/attending interviews.
What was meant to be my next step? Where was I going from here?
It came to me during a webinar, when I was listening to the speaker repeat words I have heard countless times before – “When you find yourself stuck, or in a routine that doesn’t work – return to the basics. Return to what worked before it all went astray.”
See where I’m going with this?
When I think back over the last 31 years, I was never happier, than when I was in school. Bigger than that though, I wanted to nurture that kind of passion in students. I wanted to be the teacher I still remember with fondness, for helping nurture my love of school and teach them the fundamentals that will ensure they have a solid foundation to build their dreams on.
So what is my next step?
It wasn’t another management job, though I have considered it. It wasn’t a longer, or permanent break from school, though I’ve weighed the options. It wasn’t becoming a career student, stumbling around aimlessly. It also wasn’t the MBA I was working my way towards.
It’s the education degree I’ve had my heart set on since my earliest memories. More than that – those many academic’s I sat with? They outlined how I could teach K-12 instead of limiting myself to one or the other. And the best part of this decision, I get to use my course work towards my degree. I’ll major in English, minor in business and be eligible to apply for both faculties, Primary/Elementary AND Secondary. YaY!
Now, what does that mean for my photography?
I have been privileged and blessed over the last couple years. I was able to release my passion; learn, grow, and help support our household around the holidays. I have also realized that it isn’t where I’m meant to be headed. I’m not, nor do I wish to become, a studio photographer. The thought of shooting strangers weddings right now – well it’s terrifying! I AM that crazy demanding bride-to-be who is having major trust issues when it comes to finding a photographer. I SEE the enormous amount of stress my fellow photographers are under during wedding season and it makes my heart ache for them – terrified they’re going to lose the passion that ignited their business under the mountain of strain. And although I do LOVE portrait photography; it isn’t in high enough demand to build a solid career from. Unless I give in to combining it with something else, losing a part of who I am along the way – it just isn’t financially feasible.
But I won’t be going away entirely.
I will continue to shoot as much as I possibly can until the end of December. Once the new year hits, spaces will be limited, but I want to remain around and available for the clients who have been with me faithfully and of course I want to continue to meet more incredibly families.
Come January, I’ll return to being a full time student. I will continue taking bookings for portraits as I have been, but spaces will be limited due to the intense course load I’ll be carrying. There will be a more formal booking process, which you will see under the FAQ tab above. This will help ensure my limited spaces remain full and my little business will be able to sustain itself.
I’m very much looking forward to what the future is about to unfold and I hope you all stay with me on the next adventure!